4/24/18
i’ve been trying my best to understand where it comes from
that feeling of panic that overcomes me some mornings
as though there isn’t enough time in the world or enough air in my lungs
to set things right again
i stand outside my office and let the sun burn my face
the wind picks up and i ash my cigarette
daydreaming about a reality in which i don’t go back in
it’s not really about the job anymore, is it?
it’s about people and interactions
it’s about society and systems
it’s about expectations vs resources vs time
it’s about you
vs
you
vs
you
the nuance is in the simplicity of this special feeling
the fear that, deep down, you might already know where you end and begin
but you won’t realize or understand in time for it to ever really matter
